Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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