This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
