Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
