She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
