Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
