I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
