I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
