K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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