I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
