Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I could fuck to npr.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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