My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
