He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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