I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
