Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Randomize
