Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
