Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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