I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
