I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
