my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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