i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
