there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
