so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
