Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so let's talk penis.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
