His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
