Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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