At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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