you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't think brook has ever known best
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
