you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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