i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
