Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
