the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
