I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
