Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
smell my finger.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
