The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
