i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize