I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
