My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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