census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
