So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize