ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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