so let's talk penis.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
