i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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