David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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