felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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