U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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