oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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