I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
