Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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