i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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