Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
