a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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