so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
