Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
