I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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