Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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