come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
