I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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