He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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