Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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