let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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