My girlfriend figured out who you are.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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