I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
