I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
