Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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