my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can you bring me the toilet please
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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