I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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