therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
