I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
